So thanks to some “doodz” over at 1001-up.com, I’ve had to answer all of eleven questions. It wasn’t easy. I laboured over these for several minutes, hours, weeks, in fact, and finally, the product of much blood, sweat and tears can be presented before you here.
Below you will see the list of questions that were asked by Kimmy, P-Diddy and W1ngman. And below each you will discover the solid gold, hand-forged, perfection that is my response.
It should probably be abundantly clear that what has been written above is -slightly- exaggerated somewhat, but nevertheless, on with it. Get on with it!
1. Describe yourself in five words.
It’s all about the game.
2. What would you rather be and why: a zombie, a werewolf or a vampire?
Werewolf. I don’t want to be an extra on The Walking Dead any more than I want to sparkle in the sun.
3. If your house was on fire and you had to evacuate immediately, what one thing would you grab on your way out?
Wow, this is a tough one. But, then again, I don’t keep consoles in my house so I’d grab my PC and leg it.
4. What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had told you when you were growing up?
Not everything will be coming your way. If it is, you’re on the wrong side of the road.
5. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?
Steal a car, run down some pedestrians, hold up a store, rob a bank and go on a shooting spree. That’s what it takes to get a 5-star police rating right?
6. What’s worse: realising that there’s no ice-cream left, or finding that you have to eat only ice-cream for the rest of your life?
I’d say it’d probably be finding out that I have to eat ice-cream forever. I love curries and spicy food too much to do that.
7. If you were suddenly turned into the opposite sex, what would you do?
Honestly? Umm… I probably wouldn’t leave the house for the rest of my life….
8. A question from P-Diddy and W1ngman (take a look at their facts): what’s scarier, waking up and finding a squid or a crab in your bed?
I can sympathise with W1ngman on this. I mean, that crab could be a headcrab. I know those things don’t really exist but- goddamit… FREEMAN!!!!
9. Tell us a joke (nothing too rude now!).
Get anyone over 65 to text you for the first time with autocorrect on. Remember to wear a diaper too before you ask them.
10. If there was a holiday in your honour, what would it celebrate?
It would, of course, celebrate the best geek-out weekend ever. The holiday itself would be created to honour the memory of a week-long geek-out party. It’d have a massive LAN party… with bikini babes… and tanks… tanks with lasers! And redbull! And glow-sticks! And… lost my train of thought here…
11. How now brown cow?
Onwards and upwards! Sideways and outwards! Ad infinitum.
Well, there you have it. The insight into the mind that is mine.